The one in which I answer a bunch of Qs

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I did a 7:15 a.m. video chat with AP Language students at Colegio Nuevo Grenada in Bogota, Colombia. The connection got too shaky; I could hear the students, but they couldn’t hear me. So I resorted to messaging, typing furiously. The session produced an unexpected benefit: a transcript, which I’ve edited slightly. (Each “Q” is a question asked by an individual student. “J”: c’est moi.)

Q: How can you remember all those tools of rhetoric in an argument? And how do you know which ones to use?

J: I know how you feel. The best thing is not to remember every single tool. Just remember one thing at a time. It’s like learning a sport. The first tool to remember: Set your goal. What do you want out of the argument? To sustain a relationship? To talk someone into something? The second tool: Stick to talking about the future. That’s where problems and differences get resolved.

Q: What’s the best rhetoric to use in a college admissions essay?

J: Go to ArgueLab.com and see my video about how to write a college essay. The biggest advice I give: Tell a story. Most college recruiters are really bored from all those thousands of essays they have to read. So give them a good yarn. And no grandmothers!!!! Everybody exploits his grandmother.

Q: Can you talk more about multiple yoking, or the play-by-play technique?

J: Sports announcers use this figure (technically called diazeugma) as they describe the action. You can use it when you’re telling a story. The best stories and jokes get told in the present tense. And that’s what the play-by-play technique does.

Q: Can you give an example?

A: Rhetoric Boy starts typing…the whole world holds its breath….Will they change their lives with his wisdom, or does he just look like an idiot? He keeps typing…people keep reading… and so on. I think I need more coffee.

Q: Can you talk a bit about ornament?

J: Ornament is a catch-all term.  It stands for anything other than just plain old boring language. Any figure of speech counts as an ornament. Have you studied figures?

Q: Yes. Can you give us an example of using it in real life?

J: Sure! Politicians use it all the time to sound biblical. “And I will lower taxes. And I will put a chicken in every pot. And I will give free medical care. And I will allow people to marry anybody they want. And I will allow them not to.” See what that is? Beginning every sentence with “and?”

[Class: Anaphora.]

J: Anaphora!!! Right!! Smart class.

Q: How can you use decorum if you don’t know your audience?

J: Decorum: the art of fitting in. It’s hard to fit in if you don’t know what you’re fitting into. This happens a lot when you write for an audience online. It can go haywire, right? That’s why it’s important not to get angry or snarky in an email. It can go places you never intended. So… The best kind of decorum for an unknown audience is “semi-formal” speech. Like the kind I used in writing the book. Speak as though you’re talking on television to a general audience. And write the same way—as if you’re speaking on TV. Make sense?

Q: What do you do when you’re arguing with someone and they point out a fallacy you committed?

J: Never point out someone else’s fallacy. But if they point out yours… It’s good to praise the other person. “Great catch! I learn so much from you! So tell me: How would you have made my point?” Now you get the person actually telling YOUR point of view. Making YOUR argument. It does great things…like messing up their head. Isn’t this great manipulation???

Q: Why is it so important to choose the right medium?

J: Never ask a person to marry you by email. And never break up with them by email. See the mistake? Email is writing. It lacks the emotional and personal qualities. When a guy proposes to a woman by Jumbotron, that embarrasses the woman. She would be crazy to say yes.

In Thank You for Arguing, I list various media—instant messaging, telephoning, speechmaking, etc.—and link each to the various senses: sight, sound, smell, touch. Touch conveys the most emotion. Sight conveys character. The sound of a voice? Logic. And character.

Q: Can you explain the difference between metonymy and synecdoche?

J: That’s a tough one. Linguists argue about this all the time. That’s why I like to combine the two into what I call the “belonging trope.” Both metonymy and synecdoche take something that belongs and makes it stand for the whole thing. If I say, “Want a toot?”, I mean, “Do you want a drink from this bottle? Toot imitates the act of drinking from a bottle. That’s a metonymy. But you can call it a belonging trope. Synecdoche takes a member of a group, or a piece of something and makes it represent the whole. Like “redhead.” It stands for a person, but you’re just talking about the head. Or “White House,” standing for the entire US administration.

Q: What techniques should you use to sell somebody something.

J: There are lots of ways to get someone to buy something. One tool: repeat what the other person says. Keep repeating what they say, while nodding your head. It shows you’re with them in this together. Let them talk more than you do. Then steer the conversation around to a problem—THEIR problem—and show how what you’re selling solves it. The idea is to connect what you’re selling to the person’s own need.

Biggest sales mistake: Talking about how you’d benefit. The point is to make the person feel there’s a deep need. And you’re the one to fill it!!! Works in love as well as sales. So I need to sell you something. I’ve noticed that you all are really interested in figures and tropes. Right? I’m glad you’re interested. Figures and tropes are critical to your education. (OK, so it’s best if I let you do the talking, but I’ll keep going) There is a book that solves the problem. I happen to have written it. It’s called Word Hero. OK, so here’s another technique. Don’t ask for too much. Ask for a little baby step.

Q: How do you twist a cliché?

J: Twisting a cliché takes a LOT of practice. So…want to give me a cliche?

A: “With power comes great responsibility.”

J: The Batman cliche!

[Class:] Spiderman!

J: Spiderman cliche!! With great typing comes…Great typos. It works in making you look clever. Without trying very hard.

Q: Which works better in day to day persuasion, inductive or deductive logic?

J: That’s a brilliant Q. Deductive logic is more…logical. It’s great in formal argument, such as in a paper. But in regular speech, inductive argument works better. That’s because stories work better than mere facts in persuasion. And induction has to do with stories. Examples, that is, in the form of stories. So if you talk in anecdotes, people see them as a kind of truth. Even if those anecdotes are made up, or just support your point of view. Sherlock is all about deduction, right? And he’s really, really annoying. Unpersuasive. So… deduction for formal stuff… and induction for informal, regular persuasion. Make sense?

Q: What’s the best way to begin an argument?

A: The biggest thing to think about is your ethos. Establish your character, or image, with the other person. Do that by (a) showing you care about the other person. (b) Show you know what you’re talking about. And (c): Show you share the same values. I call these traits “Caring, Craft, and Cause.” They get the other person to like and trust you—the most powerful tool of all. Start by asking questions of the other person. Show you sympathize and are familiar with their problem. Finally, talk about some higher cause. “This isn’t about whether I should wear high heels. This is about empowering women!”

Q: Thank you!

A: You’re welcome.

Want to become a great speaker? Be someone else.

It’s a technique called prosopopoeia (pro-so-PO-pee-ah). Every teacher of speech and rhetoric should use it in class. Why? For one thing, every rhetoric class used to consider this exercise essential to oratory. For another, it really works.

Prosopopeia has students pretending to be great speakers from the present and past. You try to imitate the character and voice of a famous person, often in a novel setting. For example, have James Madison lecture the current Supreme Court on the Constitution. Or have different women in history argue why they should be on the $10 bill.

The more dramatic students really get into it. But even shy students can benefit, pretending to be someone else for a while. Besides being a fun speech exercise, it’s a terrific way to teach history—by channeling it.

Here’s a video we did for ArgueLab. Yes, I pronounce “prosopopoeia” wrong. But my kids say I do a brilliant Maggie Thatcher.

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The best pickup line? “Check out my ethos.”

Note: This blog is shifting over to jayheinrichs.com.

I get asked this question all the time: “Hey, Persuasion Guy…” (Actually, nobody calls me Persuasion Guy, though I wish they would). “What’s the most surefire pickup line in a bar?”

Dude. (I’m assuming you like to be called “Dude.”) If an Attractive Person wants you to pick him or her up, just don’t say anything that blows it. The AP will be judging you more than your lines. Which brings us to the theory of Ethos, your expressed character.

First, show that you care about the AP. A great pickup line? Suppose the AP is a woman; ask her a question about herself. Compliment her shoes and ask where she got them. (Straight guys rarely compliment a woman’s shoes, so at the least you’ll surprise her.) This is eunoia, disinterested good will. It’s the Caring part of Ethos.

Next, show you know what you’re doing. Signal the bartender suavely. This is phronesis, the Craft part of Ethos.

Finally, show respect and good manners. That’s arete, or virtue, the Cause part. You’re a genuinely good person.

Yeah, some APs aren’t looking for a genuinely good guy. They’re looking for an exciting, even dangerous guy. In which case, work harder on your Craft. And here you’re on your own. I’ve been happily married for too long to look dangerous. 

Here’s a video I made with my pal Christina. I cut out the part where she talks about what she thinks is the perfect line. Sorry. She already has Ryan Gosling as an imaginary boyfriend

What's a euphemism for euphemism?

Note: Figarospeech.com, where “Figaro” speaks to “figarists,” is migrating to jayheinrichs.com. So is this blog.

Figarist Cari Jackson asks whether “euphemism” is the proper term for this blithe quote from a corporate CEO:

“I don’t want to say layoffs. I’d say, perhaps, redeployed is a better term.”

There is indeed, Cari! 

Figure of Thought: meiosis (my-OH-sis), the shrinker. From the Greek, meaning “to shrink.”

The meiosis (“It’s just a flesh wound!”) redefines an issue to make it sound less important. Reminds us of “The Simpsons’” evil nuclear plant owner, Mr. Burns: “Oh, meltdown. It’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.”

Let’s call a spade a spade. But when someone calls an earth mover a spade, don’t call it a euphemism. It’s a meiosis. Got any more examples of mealy-mouthed shrinkers? Please comment!

Being famous means never having to say you’re sorry.

Why are public figures so bad at apologizing?

It has to do with belittlement: an audience’s feeling of being dissed, and its desire to see the culprit shrink. The problem is, big stars don’t want to become little planets. 

So how does a bigshot—or you, for that matter—apologize without shrinking? Follow these steps:

1. Own up to the mistake. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

2. Focus on your emotions, not how you hurt someone else. Say how bad you feel about screwing up.

3. Show how your mistake was an exception to the rule. You’re a great, thoughtful person who temporarily lapsed.

4. Promise improvement and show what you’re going to do to fix any remaining problems.

Here’s a video I did with details.

What to Say to Someone Who Resists Getting Vaccinated

In order to stop the Covid-19 epidemic, medical experts tell us we need to achieve herd immunity. That means 70-85% of us having antibodies ready to leap against the spiky virus. We get antibodies either through contracting the disease—with a death risk 33 times that of the flu and long-term risks of heart, lung, and even brain problems—or by getting vaccinated.

The problem is, almost half of us don’t want to get vaccinated, at least not right away. This isn’t a medical problem. It’s a persuasion problem.

As a persuasion consultant who has advised pediatricians and military vaccinators, I have worked for years to convince resistant patients to accept vaccination for themselves or their children. Here are techniques that have been proven to work.

Be patient. 

It usually takes more than one conversation to change a person’s mind. Work first on the relationship. The more the other person likes and trusts you, the more likely you’ll succeed.

Try to bring in someone who looks like the other person.

Half of vaccine resisters are Latinx, and 53% are Hispanic, according to a new poll. While people over 55 are overwhelmingly in favor, most Americans between ages 25 and 44 say they’re unlikely to get vaccinated. Persuasion tends to work better when the audience belongs to the same age and ethnicity as the persuader.

 Don’t score points.

This is true of persuasion in general. Successful arguments aren’t about winning; they’re about winning over the other person, getting her to want to make your choice. 

And avoid focusing on the facts.

Lots of research shows that when you throw facts at someone, he tends to retreat even farther into his own belief. Besides, vax resisters already have plenty of “facts.” They’re just not true. (No, Bill Gates is not putting tracking chips in the serum.)

Instead, speak personally but selflessly.

Don’t say how the vaccine will protect you. Tell who else you’re trying to protect. “My sister has cancer and can’t get vaccinated. I want to keep her safe as long as possible.” Or, “I want my mother to be able to hug me again.” Then gently imply that the denier would want to do the same thing. “You know what I’m talking about. I see how much your mother adores you.” 

Appeal to the other’s identity.

People will do almost anything to confirm their best sense of self. Soldiers are willing to sacrifice their lives to live up their identity as soldiers. I once was asked by a Pentagon agency to come up with a way to persuade vax-resistant military members into smallpox vaccination. After learning how proud they are of their scars, I suggested a social media campaign in which soldiers took selfies of their vaccination scar and said what it was for. “This scar’s for my country. This scar’s for my girlfriend.”

Make the other person feel noble and smart, not dangerously stupid.

I advise pediatricians to praise a young mother who hesitates having her child vaccinated. She’s fiercely protecting her baby against what she sees as harm. The doctor should then steer the conversation toward “protection.”

Reframe the issue.

Don’t call it vaccination. Call it “protection.” Reframing is a powerful persuasion tool; it lets you occupy the high ground of an argument. A vax denier tends to frame the issue around short-term harm. Reframing it around short-term protection—lowering the odds of getting sick within a few short weeks, while protecting those around her.

And don’t forget: be patient.

Listen. Ask questions. Stay calm. And work on the relationship. Achieving herd immunity takes time. And so does persuasion.

Jay Heinrichs is an international speaker and consultant, and the author of the New York Times bestseller, Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion. Learn more at jayheinrichs.com and ArgueLab.com.